So why not test out Europe's very own 'long-distance pedestrian infrastructure'? There must be such a thing, right? Yes, there is. Kind of. Europe is criss-crossed by twelve so-called European Long-Distance Paths designated by the European Ramblers' Association. These paths connect local, regional and national trails across multiple countries to form quite an extensive network. The most convenient path for reaching the ferry at Hoek van Holland turns out to be the E11, running from the Polish-Lithuanian border all the way to Scheveningen in the Netherlands. It is a path with quite a bit of history both in terms of the towns it passes as well as its inception (it was extended into Poland after the fall of the Iron Curtain to stimulate East-West integration).
The plan now is to head northwest to join up with the E11 in recently flooded Halle via Leipzig and follow it all the way to the end/start. As the E11, or rather its constituent trails, zigzag quite a bit along the way, it is a good chunk longer than the direct route (I calculated an additional 250km, hence the term 'rambling'). I do expect the scenery to make up for it, though.
And once on the ferry, I'm half-way there.
What could possibly go wrong?